3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
