She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
