Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
