I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
