There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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