Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
