my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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