Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize