Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
