I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
