Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
