just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
