I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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