Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
