she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
