I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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