I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
