dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
