Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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