So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
