remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
