what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize