The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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