How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
