In the future we'll all be gay
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
