Porn is love you can see.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just googled if crying burns calories
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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