We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
