shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
