I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
