So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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