bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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