Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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