Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
