I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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