never play flip cup with pint glasses
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
