You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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