YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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