I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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