those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
