Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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