I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
