This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
