I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
