i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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