Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
