I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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