Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
