My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
