But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
