i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it's great music for shaving your balls
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
