Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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