after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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