Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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