Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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